Giving away the answers

As parents and teachers, do we "give away" the answer to our children?

Several years ago, I had a teenage piano student who I had taught for a year or two. He came in one day with a brand new piece of music that he had picked out and bought himself. He walked in my door, handed it to me and said, "teach me this song." I replied that I would not "teach him a song." He somewhat jokingly replied, "Isn't that your job? To 'teach me songs'?" I replied, "No. It is not my job to 'teach you songs.' Its my job to teach you to teach yourself the songs. My job is to put myself out of a job."

So he put the music on the the rack of the shiny, black Kawaii upright piano and begun to read on his own. I noticed that he was looking at the piano more than the music on the rack. It turns out, he could see my reflection in the shiny black finish of the piano. He was watching my face to see if he he was playing the correct notes. If I grimaced, he would try another note until he got it right. After that, I had to give more thought to my facial expressions. I want my students to acknowledge their own mistakes with out me "giving it away" with a comment, sound, or facial expression.

This is not to say that we just hand them a piece of music, step back, and wish them good luck. We need to prepare them for success at whatever assignments they have. There are many ways to prepare them for new assignments like counting, analyzing the music, listening to the recording, singing the music and choosing music at the appropriate level. We also must remember to practice at a slow steady tempo and work in sections so as not to overwhelm the student. I am not saying that we should not correct mistakes. We cannot let the child continue to make the same mistake over and over without their knowledge. But we break their concentration and enjoyment if we stop and correct every mistake as we go. If the poor child cannot play through the piece because we stop to correct each tiny thing, then everyone is going to be frustrated and nothing gets accomplished.

So what should we do if a child plays a wrong note and they don't notice it? Don't we need to point out what the correct note should have been? It is so tempting to just point at a note and say- "this is supposed to be a D you played an E." But sometimes they will correct it themselves if you simply ask them to play it again. Often, if you observe the student closely, you can see some slight acknowledgement of their mistake even if they are unaware of it. They hesitate on or after a wrong note, grimace, or tense their bodies. If that's the case, I like to point to the place where the mistake was made and ask if the noticed something about it. They usually tell me that it didn't sound or feel right. Then I ask them to examine the music and make sure they played everything correctly. At that point, they usually correct their own mistake.

So as parents and teachers, let's try to resist the urge to constantly "help" the child who is practicing. I know it takes longer, but it is worth it in the long run if we do not "teach them the song" but rather guide them as they learn it for themselves. Sometimes its hard to do, but you have to let them make mistakes. It is the best way that they learn. If they begin a piece in a totally wrong hand position, they will figure it out after a few measures. If they play a glaring wrong note, give them the chance to hear that it is wrong and correct it. Then when they correct themselves they will be confident that they did it themselves and did not rely on your help. Don't try to correct every mistake in a piece all at once. Prioritize. Start with most important mistakes and work from there. It might take longer to learn the piece, but it will be worth it in the long run.

Our job as parents and teachers, is to put ourselves out of a job. “The greatest sign of success for a teacher... is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist."” Maria Montessori